Letting Go…

We saw Mum twice this week.

Once for our weekly lunch, when I take her out for a good meal, then we go and do errands. She stays in the car now while I do the errands. This week she was distracted more than usual by the goings on in the world – murders, financial mayhem, etc, etc. Unusually this time I couldn’t get her past that to talk about her favourite show the Antique Roadshow or her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Then she said that it was time for her to go and be with Dad (who’d died in 1981). She was quite calm and matter-of-fact. That fear of dying, of not being in control, that she’d clung on to for so long, had gone…

I looked at her, that tired, lined face and that awful wig which had hidden her lovely hair for many years. Yet there was a wisdom there, a way of being with the earth when she let herself. Sadness gripped my belly as I realised how much I would miss that.

I was happy that she’d got to a peaceful place about dying, but now I needed to let her go, so she could go in peace.

The next day, obeying an instinct that had come to me the previous week that this would be Mum’s last week here, I asked Jeanette and Christopher, Blaine, Tom and Thea, to have afternoon tea with Mum. So the day after our lunch I picked her up from her place again and took her to one of her favourite coffee shops. She got herself together and acted brightly, although I sensed the effort this took as I sat by her. Our family, this precious group of people that Rob and I began and that now has its own very special way of being, gave Mum what she sought. Respect, love and a sense of place and purpose. She could see herself in Thea, that brightness. And she could see Dad in Tom, that caring and solidness. She was happy that she would be leaving that legacy. Thanks heavens she’s got past thinking that all she’ll leave behind is the money!

When I hugged Mum after I’d taken her back home…yes, it’s time to let her go, so that she can go in peace.

Emails with Elwyn

Hi Elly

Sounds like a great weekend:-) Sorry, I thought you were going climbing…

We went out to dinner with friends in Freo on Friday night, and slept on the boat. Had to leave early Saturday to be back in time for T&T (Tris and Tom) to pick up Dad and take him to the veterans motor cycle meet @ Wanneroo race way. Long time since Dad had heard the “musical” sound of racing motorbikes, and Blaine’s uncle Rob was racing his jazzed up Honda 750 – same model as the last motor bike that Dad owned. So all the boys had a ball! This was the first of Dad’s birthday pressies.

We had a rest after lunch, but TBTA went to the open day of the school where Tom will go as soon as he can get in, which I think is when Thea starts kindy there.

Then Jeanette and I met them @ Target in Galleria and did clothes shopping for the kiddliwinks. 2 adults per child was a good way to do it, as we were trying to find the right clothes for them at the same time as they were taking clothes off the racks and giving them to us! Fun but tiring! Of course Tris HAD to look at the toy section too:-)

Then I drove the kiddliwinks back to our place for the night (in the “blue car” with their car seats), and Tris and Blaine took our car and had a well-earned night off, going to see the latest James Bond movie and sleeping in until 8am on Sunday. As the kiddliwinks were very tired, we got them to bed early and Jeanette came and helped with bath and dinner time. Then Dad and I had a rest!

Sunday T&B arrived about 9:30, ready for bacon and eggs and play with their kids, whom they’d had enough rest from to look forward to seeing:-) Blaine had a long chat, as she’d had a hard week. Every time we talk about parenting I’m so very grateful that our grandkids have such wonderfully devoted parents. They all left about 11:30, and Dad and I retired to different parts of the house to read the papers:-) I had a 2-hour nap in the afternoon while Dad surfed the net and went through all the recordings on the HD receiver hard disk drive. Found a very interesting one about Lord Howe Island for us to watch that evening. Then we planted the last of the plants in the front yard and tidied up. Also moved the bird bath and discovered a HUGE ant nest under it. Dad sprayed the ant nest, and I moved that red pottery mushroom with some of the ants’ nest to another spot.

We had a very quiet evening:-)

Speak to you this arvo (my time).



On 24/11/2008, at 7:21 AM, Elwyn Campbell wrote:

it was busy, busy busy!

Went mountain biking on Saturday in an awesome purpose-built mountain biking centre.

Then went on a ridge-top hike today (Sunday) and battled high winds that were blowing hail stones at us!

Since I’ve only just got back, I’ll have a bit of a slow start tomorrow morning, so how about an ichat at around 5pm your time?

Interested to see the thing in the back yard.

Luv Elly

On 23/11/208, at 9:35pm, Wendy Campbell wrote:

How was your weekend climbing?

Can we have an iChat on Monday morning? Something has returned to the back yard after a very long time away…


Blue Wren!

Rob and I enjoyed a quiet walk in Kings Park this morning, and stopped to see what sort of little birds were calling from the bushes by the path. I recognised a wren’s tail, then saw a flash of blue on the back of its head and shoulders. It was a blue wren, that we have only ever seen a long way south of here until now.