Mum was on the phone today again. This time she’d heard on the radio that the Cat Haven was in deep trouble and needed a lot of money to keep going so they could keep saving stray cats’ lives. She’d decided that give them $10,000, and had called them to tell them. She needed to have a cheque arranged for them and as I normally did all her affairs she wanted me to organise the cheque. As she didn’t have a cheque account we’d have to go to the bank and get a bank cheque, and I couldn’t do that until tomorrow. So she called Helen and Helen kindly said she’d take her to the bank to organise the cheque.

Later Mum called again. She’d be in the paper next week, and their photographer would be at her place tomorrow to get a photo of her giving the cheque to the manager of the Cat Haven! Helen would be in attendance.

I’ve got to hand it to Mum – when she’s decided what she’s going to do she certainly does it! And giving seems to be helping her get over her angst from her heart attack:-)

I should have seen it coming…

Yesterday Mum was on the phone worrying how she was going to store the double grocery order that was coming today. She was in quite a state. I did my best to calm her down, then she remembered that Gordon’s fridge was still in the basement, from when he lived there. She could store the overflow there. Lisa the nurse was coming later in the day so she could help Mum get the fridge ready.

Good. She calmed down then.

Later yesterday she called in another panic – Gordon’s fridge was full of rotten food so she couldn’t use that! I told her to call me when the order came and I’d go down to her place and bring the overflow back and store it in my fridge.

She calmed down again.

This morning she called in a frightful state. She’d had pain in her neck and arm during the night, and this morning the people at the back of her had blocked the drive – well their workmen had – and so the food order could not be delivered. She was so short of breath that it took a long time to get all this from her.

I knew she was having or had had a heart attack! I told her I’d be there soon. Then I called St John’s Ambulance and they said they’d be there straight away. By the time I got there the 2 ambulance men had arrived and had Mum sitting in a chair with ECG leads stuck to her chest. The men never did get a straight story from Mum and she refused to go to hospital even though they really wanted her to. So they left in anger.

And I tried to calm Mum down.

After lots of talking she was calm. She’d looked at death and decided to stick by her goal of “only leaving this house in a box”. She wanted to be left alone for a while to recover in her own time. I respected that and left after having her repeat several times to me that she’d call as soon as the food order arrived and I’d come and help her sort it, and take the overflow back to my place.

It’s funny when she has these serious turns. I shut off my own feelings and just deal with hers. Mine come out to be dealt with later…

Tomorrow Elwyn is due to arrive from UK for a 4 month stay. Her room is ready, her bed is made. It will be the first time she’s been here since the cats died, and I hope she won’t find that too sad.

And now we are relaxing in the family room.

We hear the key in the front door lock and the door open- perhaps it’s Blaine and the children…

We hear footsteps on the wooden floor…

And…Elwyn peeps around the corner!

With that cheeky grin on her face that she saves when she does something particularly tricky.

The Jeanette laughs from behind her.

And Christopher appears with a wide grin.

Elwyn tricked us with saying where she was over the past few days when we spoke to her on the phone, and Jeanette and Christopher picked her up from the airport in secret today.

What a wonderful surprise…and LOTS of hugs:-)

Well, the doctor’s visits have been done, the scans have been completed and I have the full story.

My knees are stuffed. To be exact the cartilage behind both of my knee caps has been completely worn out. To get fit, because I’d never really “done” exercise until I met Rob, I just did what Rob did to gain strength. But walking and climbing with a heavy pack obviously was not the right thing for me…It suits Rob with his strong legs, but not me.

So no walking for a long time, if ever; no sailing, so we’ve cancelled our plans to sail Dusky Dolphin to Tasmania; heaven only know how I’m going to deal with the stairs in our house.

I cry when I tell people this, or even when I think about it. The grief tugs at my belly in pain.

I know I’ll get over the grief, but will I ever be able to go for walks and sails again?

Today has been a busy one.

At 8am the tree surgeons arrived with their truck and mill to cut down the huge trunk of the river red gum that has shaded our driveway since we arrived at this house in 1980. We’d had the limbs cut off some months ago, in preparation for taking down this lovely tree because it’s huge roots were lifting up the driveway to an extent that even I had to admit that the tree had to go!

So I greeted the men with cups of coffee, then they set up the mill and the sawing began. The tree was still alive and I felt the hurt as the saw bit. Royce, the team leader for the day, feels the same as I do about trees, but this had to be done.

Then, as the loveliness of the tree’s timber began to show in the pieces of trunk they milled, we could see that it would live on in the things that Tristan and Blaine would create from this timber.

When they’d finished, and the beautiful wood was loaded into their truck, I drove my car behind them to Tristan’s place, and stayed there while they unloaded and stacked the milled wood.

It had been hard, but as the wood came to rest on the grassy front verge, it felt right.

So I’m tired tonight, but somehow it’s been a good day.